It was 'the knife incident'. The day I got so angry I slammed a knife on the bench so hard that it almost hit my (then) two year old. Then I proceeded to run to my room screaming how much I hated my life, all with my (then) 6 month old on my hip.</strong>
Was I okay?
No I wasn't. But would anyone else but my husband, have known that? Absolutely not!
Because I was meant to be that perfect mum. I was meant to love being at home with my children, wasn't I?
It escalated until I came to breaking point and shouted at them in my clenched-teeth way when I lose control. They instantly quietened down and went to bed, but I felt awful! That’s not the way to end the day. However I’d done it and I couldn’t take it back.
I was working with a young 17 year old girl with depression and a history of self-harming and she taught me such a valuable lesson in parenting that I want to share with as many parents as possible. She said: “My mum just doesn’t get it.
Today's society is not like when you or I were growing up. The "children should be seen and not heard" rule doesn't really seem to apply in today's society. Or if it does, it seems to be to the detriment of the connection between the parent and the child.
They were whinging, clinging, the house was a mess, dishes everywhere, dinner trying to be cooked, I'm tired. I don't want to be dealing with any of this. It's been a long day and I'm hanging for my husband to come home to help take the load off.
Quite often I read the posts of people introducing themselves on my Live programs, and I think “Wow, you’ve got so much going on. Where should we start first.” So this post is to help those of you who are feeling this way about your life and parenthood. What do you want?
Because your perception is of being time poor, I’m just going to give you those 5 steps straight up. What do you want? Be specific. What does organised look like? Write it down. Write down everything that is in your day/week that needs attention and how much time that would take to get those things done.
Time becomes a luxury when you are a parent, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy time for yourself. But here’s the problem…. You know how I always say that what you put your attention on expands in that direction? Well, if you keep looking at your life with an “I don’t have time” mindset, you'll keeping finding evidence of how you are lacking in time!
Becoming a parent is a HUGE transition and often, we don’t deliberately take the time to mentally adjust to the change. We get stuck in identifying ourselves with the past and what life used to be like, but the reality is (there’s that bloody reality again, lol) that life HAS changed and it CAN’T be the way it used to be.