Marriage can be hard work. Some days you will wake up wondering if it is all worth it because relationships can be difficult and life sometimes gets in the way. The bottom line is that there is no such thing as an easy happily ever after. You have to work at your relationship every day. This is solid truth and so is this; when you have children, keeping a healthy and happy marriage going to sometimes be difficult as well. So many parents will say that their children must come first at all costs, but at what cost is it worth losing your marriage? A healthier way to view you marriage and your children is that your spouse must come first. Before I had children I thought that this was a selfish statement. How could you not put your kids first all the time? After many years of marriage I now understand.
It is important to do everything you can do to raise happy and well-adjusted children and that also includes showing them what a happy and healthy marriage looks like. When you do not put your marriage first then it may quickly fall apart and this is what your children will take from life – that divorce is normal and mums and dads can give up.
So how do you prevent your marriage from becoming stale and risk it ending? Below you will find some tips that I have found to be helpful in keeping my marriage together and happy. I hope that these will help you as well.
The key to keeping your marriage at the top of your list is just be together. This is something some couple struggle with because of work loads, school, and duties. Finding the time to just delight in each other can be tough. However, when you think of spending time together it does not have to be going to dinner and a movie. It is the simple things that mean the most. Here are things that some couples do to make this happen.
When it is time to cook dinner, get together and cook together. This may not sound like much but it is time to talk, catch up and simply be alone together.
The marriage bedroom is about more than sex. It is the place that is just for you and your spouse. Make this a kid free zone. When the door closes it should be just about you and your other half. Keep the television for the family room, not the bedroom. Set aside at least 30 minutes before bed to just be together before falling asleep.
Again, this does not just have to be dinner and a movie. Have the kids spend the night with friends or family one night per week. This is where grandparents come in real handy! If you cannot arrange care, have your oldest child babysit if they are old enough. Either way, set aside at least one night each week even if it is to stay at home and watch a movie.
In all of this quality time you do not have to cut your kids out totally. Also make a family night for all of you. This shows them how healthy relationships are formed as well. Small vacations are good as well. You don’t have to be rich, as finding things to do for a small vacation is easier than you may think. Go camping or take a trip to see an extended family member.
You can certainly keep your marriage healthy while raising a family with some effort and a good attitude. Things may not always go as planned, but if you are optimistic as issues arise, you’ll be well on your way to a fulfilling marriage and happy family life.